Making new mum friends and the meaning of “how are you?”

Once you become a mum, it’s quite difficult to maintain friendships – whether it be with old friends or new ones you’ve made after having kids. However, what’s even more difficult is making them in the first place. Last week, I had a bit of an epiphany after talking to a mum at my daughter’s school. I’d passed by her and her son to and from class all year long, said hi here and there, yet we hardly knew anything about each other. So, last week, rather than just answering “good” when she asked me how I was, I elaborated and this got the conversation headed in a good direction. Here’s what I discovered afterwards.

There’s always time for conversation

When I saw this lady last week, I was holding my 3 year old to my chest as she’d fallen asleep. I was feeling run down from a cold. I was rushing because I had another school to drive to after this one.

However, that day I consciously decided to say more to this other mum and ask more questions. She ended up telling me more about herself and to my surprise, I found out that we actually got along quite well.

The fact that I had taken just a bit more time with someone meant that I was opening myself up to, potentially, a great friendship.

We all have busy lives

What I’m saying seems simple in theory, but it’s quite difficult for so many of us to apply.

We’re so tied up in being busy, that we rush through our lives just trying to get from one moment to the next.

I know how it feels to be busy. I really do. I’m a mum of a 3, 5 and 7 year old – all my girls have a specific language impairment (SLI) – and I work from home. I also have a husband who I love to spend time with. I know how difficult it is to fit in all the things that are important to you.

But what if spending 2 extra minutes of your time to get to know someone could actually increase your happiness in the short and long-term?

What if constantly rushing through your life stops you from truly cherishing it?

Bringing more meaning to “how are you?”

Next time someone asks you, “how are you?”, try not to be afraid to answer honestly. If you’ve had a bad day, have the courage to share why. If you’ve had a good day, celebrate your happiness with the person.

I believe that all mums go through similar struggles. All mums have their ups and downs.

The good news is – when you surround yourself with people going through the same things as you – you realise you’re not alone.


This article was written by Thuy Yau, who is a freelance writer. She is passionate about making the world a better place to live in. Check out her personal development blog at Inside a Mother’s Mind.



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