8 Tips To Build Confidence In Your Children

How do we instill confidence in our children? This is a question pondered by many parents. The most common mistake one can make is to forget that our children are a part of the whole. We are here to provide guidance, and to nurture our child’s individual needs. There is a difference between encouragement and over-bearing force. But don’t be too hard on yourself, parenting isn’t supposed to be easy. It is a valuable lesson for you, just as it is for them. Here is an 8 step outline on how to promote confidence in an effective way:

Acceptance. A common mistake parents make, often unconsciously, is to live through their children. We all have an idea of what we would like our children to be. Perhaps we dream of our daughter being an actress, or our son being an accountant. We must refrain from getting attached to our idea of our children, and remember that their life is their own. When we do this, we allow them to follow their highest purpose. This alone will plant the seeds of courage within them. A lack of confidence often comes from a lack of acceptance. Our children have their own unique identity. It is up to us to nurture that, not force it in another direction.
Guidance. As parents, we are here to guide our children down their individual path. Think about all the times in your life when you didn’t quite know the way forwards. Reminisce over your younger days and give your inner child advice. This mental time-travel can prepare you for the different ways in which you may need to guide your child. If your child has a clear sense of support and direction, there is less risk of insecurity.
Unconditional love. I can’t stress this factor enough. If we withhold love from our children when they don’t do what we want them to do, we set them down a dark path. As adults, we seek the love that mirrors our childhood home. If we only show love when our child acts a certain way, we set them up to love themselves conditionally. This puts them at risk of unhealthy relationships in adulthood. If we reflect our child’s desires and validate them, we provide them with a healthy sense of self.
Teaching. Knowledge is power. The more we know, the wider our world-view. Needless to say, teaching our children about the world around us will enrich them. Imagine a child that has never been educated. That child would be lacking in direction and empowerment. It is our job as parents to pass down our wisdom. While we are teaching, let’s not forget to listen. See into your child and learn from them. Recognize their gifts and cater your teaching to their individualism.
Recognizing your own inner child. Every adult has an inner child. This is a person’s supposed authentic self, or, who we are in truth. If we haven’t healed our inner child we are still under the thumb of our own childhood needs. This makes us susceptible to projecting those needs onto our children. It is important for us to have self-awareness if we want to have pure intention. Being aware of our own wounds will keep our children safe from our projections.
Understanding. It is important to understand the feelings of your child. Instead of invalidating your child’s emotions, sync up with them and empathize. For example: your child may be fearing the first day of school. Instead of implying they harden up, meet their needs by understanding their feelings. Lead them through the experience.
Attentiveness. As parents, we must be aware of our child’s development. What works for them? Don’t be afraid to be creative! Start piano lessons, practice the alphabet, embrace your artistic side. Activities such as these help a child’s cognitive development. Have fun with them, and always give your undivided attention.
Encouragement. There will be times when your child lacks motivation. Inspire them. Show them new roads to achievement, and remind them of their capabilities. Never make a child feel inferior. It is up to us to uplift them so that they can live to their highest potential.

Article by: Joshua Uebergang helps men build friends and influence people at Tower of Power. He is author of the free guide “How to Build Confidence: 100+ Self-Confidence Tips“.