Contemplating Surrogacy? 3 Things You Need To Know

Surrogacy is a method of assisted reproduction wherein a person agrees to carry a pregnancy and give birth on behalf of another person or people. The person who carries the pregnancy is known as the surrogate, and the parents-to-be are referred to as the intended parents. These terms will be useful throughout the article.

There are two types of surrogacy:

Traditional Surrogacy

This is where the surrogate is artificially inseminated with your husband’s sperm. Fertilization between her eggs and your husband’s sperm occurs, and the baby is conceived. Although the baby isn’t biologically related to you as the intended mother, according to the laws of your state, you can declare parentage before the baby is born. Alternatively, you can lawfully adopt the child. This method is mostly used for infertile women or those whose eggs aren’t healthy for conceiving.

Gestational Surrogacy

In this type of surrogacy, the sperm and eggs of the intended parents are collected. The eggs are fertilized through in vitro fertilization (IVF). The fertilized embryo is then placed in the surrogate’s uterus, usually known as the gestational surrogate. The gestational surrogate carries the child to term, and when the baby is born, it biologically belongs to the intended parents. Many intended parents prefer this method since they get to be biologically related to the baby. Hence, it’s a less legally engaging process.

However, both surrogacy methods are tasking emotionally, legally, and even financially. Therefore, the surrogate and the intended parents would use all the professional help they can get. You can visit newgenfamilies.com or other similar sites to learn more about professional surrogacy services.

Other than that, here are a few other things you should know before embarking on a surrogacy journey:

Table of Contents

1. You Can Choose A Surrogate You Know Or A Stranger

After you’ve decided to be parents by surrogacy, among the first things you and your partner will have to do is choose a surrogate. You have the option of choosing a surrogate you know., such as a family member or a close friend. Some people prefer surrogates they know to maintain a close relationship with the surrogate during pregnancy and the first few months after the child is born.

While maintaining a close relationship helps the intended parents bond with the baby, such arrangements often breed conflict later on. When the surrogate is a close friend or relative, a conflict may arise on how to bring up the child. That’s why experts recommend using surrogates who are strangers.

If you want to go this route, there are agencies to help you find the best match. Reach out to your fertility clinic so that they can recommend the best agencies. For example, a good agency should do a background check on the surrogate mother to check their health history and any other factors that may affect the quality of life of the unborn child.

Whether you choose a family member or a stranger, lawyers must represent both the intended parents and the surrogates throughout the process. Additionally, the surrogate should be at least 21 years old.

2. The Cost

Surrogacy is an expensive affair. Therefore, besides the excitement of being a parent, it’s important that you calculate the medical and legal costs of having your baby through surrogacy. Some of the costs you should consider include the following:

Consultation fees for fertility clinics
Agency fee for finding a surrogate
Your legal fee and that of the surrogate during representation
Medical fee for screening the surrogate
Compensation fee for the surrogate during the time of work, especially during bed rest and recovery after birth
Cost of prenatal care for the surrogate
Costs of maternity clothes, food, required vitamins, doctor appointments, and treatment in case of any illness.

Arrangements on how all these fees will be settled should be written in a contract for reference. The contract should indicate the time for payment, the amounts to be paid, and by who.

3. Define The Kind Of Relationship You Want With The Surrogate

How you relate with your surrogate can make or break the success of your surrogacy journey at different stages. For example, you may want updates on the baby during the pregnancy. These include ultrasounds and tiny details about the baby’s growth. However, whether or not you get such pieces of information will depend on the willingness of the surrogate. Are they willing to include you in the journey of carrying the child, or are they just interested in a safe delivery?

After the child has been born, they may need to stay with the surrogate mother for some months. Will you, as the intended parent, want to see the child, or, perhaps want the surrogate to live with you during those months? Again, is the surrogate willing to accommodate your plans? On the flip side, the surrogate may want to follow up on the progress of the child once it’s delivered to you. Are you open to this?

All these are things that should be defined in the relationship agreement. Please make sure you go into the nitty-gritties because they often cause conflict. It’s common to hear that a surrogate has resurfaced and has sued the intended parents for child custody. To avoid such situations, draft a relationship agreement and let lawyers oversee it.

Wrapping It Up

Surrogacy is a taxing journey emotionally, financially, and legally. Therefore, it’s important that you know these three things before settling on having a child by surrogacy.