How to Help a Family Member with Anger Issues

Do you have a family member who is constantly angry, snapping at other members of your family or friends? Or do you have a family member who flies into an explosive rage and then feels terrible about it afterwards? If this is someone you care about, you may be wondering how to help them with anger issues. Vivacious and sociable people tend to feel good most of the time. Even introverted individuals tend to enjoy peace and quiet on a regular basis rather than feeling angry all the time. However, some people are just high-strung or overexcitable – they snap at their friends and family regularly and feel guilty about it later. This kind of temperament can be quite trying for those unfortunate enough to have that person as a friend or relative; but there are ways to help a family member with anger issues.

Communicate Carefully

Some people find it helpful to write out their feelings when they are angry – or happy, or sad, or excited, or in love – and reading those feelings can help put things in perspective. Have your family member keep a journal where they can write out their feelings, and they may find that they calm down significantly. If your family member writes angry things, tear them up before they have a chance to read them. If they write things that will make them feel better, give them the journal back when they are done with it. If it would help to talk with a therapist, have your family member visit a therapist, and have them keep a journal while they do. Your family member may be lashing out at everyone because they feel helpless. Anger is often a projected feeling of powerlessness. If they are angry at the world because they feel powerless to help themselves, giving them a way to help themselves – such as a journal, or counseling – may help them feel better about themselves and others.

Help Your Family Member Find a Counsellor

If you are concerned that your family member’s anger issues stem from a more serious problem, such as depression, anxiety, or PTSD, consider having them see a therapist. Therapy is a great way to get a family member to look inside themselves, explore their emotions and come to terms with their experiences. Many people who have anger issues have them because they don’t feel good about themselves. Perhaps they don’t feel loved, or smart enough, or successful enough, or pretty enough, or athletic enough – whatever “enough” means to them. If your family member is constantly angry because they feel like they aren’t good enough, a psychologist can help them come to terms with their problems, resolve their issues, and learn to feel better about themselves.

Set Firm Boundaries

If your family member goes into an explosive rage, get out of their way. If someone has a violent temper tantrum, walk away. An explosion is a cry for help. Your family member is trying to tell you something by losing their temper. They are trying to tell you that they are overwhelmed. They are trying to tell you that they are sorry for the things they have said and done during their temper tantrum and that they need some space to calm down. If your family member tries to apologize for something they said or did during their angry outburst, please accept their apology and move on. Don’t let their temper tantrums get you down. If you respond to an angry outburst with anger in return, you’ll just escalate the situation. If you ignore the outburst, it may pass quickly.

Help Your Family Member Build Self-Esteem

A lot of anger issues stem from a low sense of self-worth. Some people have a built-in sense of self-worth and feel good about themselves regardless of external factors. Others struggle with feelings of self-worth because of a traumatic childhood, troubled relationship with a parent, or other issues that affect their self-esteem. You can help by opening up a dialogue about the things your family member feels good about. Ask them what they like about themselves and what they want to work on. Keep an eye out for books that might be helpful, or sign your family member up for an online course that can help them address their self-esteem issues and learn to feel better about themselves.

Take Care of Yourself

Don’t take your family member’s anger personally, and don’t let it get you down. Stay calm, and don’t be provoked by an angry outburst. Don’t let your family member provoke you if they are trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t be provoked. Most importantly, don’t let your family member’s anger trigger your own anger. Some people get angry by being around someone who is angry. If you find yourself getting angry when your family member is angry, take a break from them and calm yourself down. Find ways to de-stress in your own life. Exercise regularly, spend time alone, spend time with friends who make you feel calm, work on creative projects, or do anything else that helps you relax and enjoy your life.

Conclusion

If you have a family member who has anger issues, don’t despair. There are ways to help a family member with anger issues. First and foremost, be patient with your family member, and let them know that you love them and that you’re there for them. Encourage them to seek out therapy, and suggest that they sign up for an online course or read some self-help books designed to help people cope with anger issues. If your family member has anger issues, you can help them by communicating with them carefully, setting firm boundaries, helping them build their self-esteem, and taking care of yourself.