Top 10 Survival Tips for Working Mums

The decision of whether to go back to work after having children has long been a vexed question and one peppered with emotion: but often those emotions belong to others who deflect them on to you, so it is important to remember that you are the ultimate decision-maker!

In my view, women who have invested time and effort into developing a career have done so for a reason – to contribute their skills to society. The mere fact that they have also delivered babies does not render them incapable of contributing in the workplace, and nor should it. However, it requires organization and balance!
Thankfully the tide of community horror towards working mums has subsided, but still some women feel guilty about their decision, feeling they have to make up for it, sometimes by over-indulging their children, which helps no-one!

What being a working mum brings to the fore is the need to be well organized, and in this you need the co-operation of family members. I see this as a massive positive, particularly for children, who seem to thrive better and have more fulfilling lives when they have learned the benefits of organizing and managing their time.

Here are my favourite tips for working mums:

1. Family involvement – discuss with your immediate family how the daily/weekly routine will work. It is particularly important for young children to know the routine – this helps them feel secure, so ensure young children know where they will be spending the day, and when they will come home.
   Everyone needs to be clear on their roles and having a home timetable can help. Also build in some age-appropriate chores that children can help with, to lighten the load for everyone.
2. Guilt – women often struggle when making the decision to return to work, and feel anxious about how their little ones will cope. When children’s feelings of security are managed, they will be fine.
   You are likely to enjoy parenting more when your time is balanced between caring for your family and the adult stimulation of colleagues and peers.
3. Be wary of advice from others – Opinions on the benefits or otherwise of working mums are prevalent, but they are merely opinions and they belong to holder. You do not need to agree or abide.
   Two key points about advice:
   – it is best given only if asked for
   – it is based on what the person believes they would do – but they are not you, so whilst it might be helpful to hear another perspective, it is not gospel.
4. Get your expectations right – there will be trade-offs! When you spend less time at home some tasks won’t get done. Determine the most important tasks for your family’s collective needs and prioritize. Accept that some things won’t be done – or won’t be done as well as you might like, but recognize this is part of the trade off.
5. Exercise – this is a key element to maintaining balance in your world, and whilst it is difficult for busy people to fit exercise in, walking at lunchtime can be an ideal solution. This gives you an opportunity to exercise, breathe in some fresh air which helps to restore optimal brain function, and gives your mind a break from work tasks.
6. Food – a healthy diet is important for everyone so aim to keep meals simple and healthy. If cooking is your thing, immerse yourself with food fun on weekends if you have time.
7. Outsource – there are many ways to gain help with household chores such as housework, ironing, and online shopping. Seek as much help as you can reasonably afford to enable you to spend as much time as possible with the family, doing the things you enjoy.
8. Transport co-operatives – when your children are enrolled in busy after-school lives, arrange a transport co-operative with other parents. This benefits busy parents, and children usually enjoy travelling to and from places with friends.
9. Mindful ‘You’ time – easier said than done? Definitely! But vitally important to maintaining a balanced and healthy you. At the very least this should be some slow deep breaths accompanied by visualization – either a place you like to be or things you like to see – such as flowers, gardens, beaches. Try this first thing in the morning and during breaks at work.
10. Fun – do you remember this? Laughter and the sense of pure enjoyment is vital to a healthy mind and body, but is frequently forgotten. Remember to schedule in some fun times – with family and friends.

Keeping life balanced…
Merryn Snare
Merryn is a psychologist, educator and international author. Her goal is to make stress release easy by devising simple and effective strategies. Her book ‘Annihilate Stress and Anxiety’ was included in the gift bags given to nominees at the 2015 Oscar Awards.
www.AnnihilateStressAndAnxiety.com