Calming Strategies For Mums From A Mum Of 5 Children

Having raised over 5 children I taught myself a few calming strategies. Here are some of them that I hope will help you on your journey through motherhood:

One of the most valuable calming strategies was that getting prepared for evening time early. Dinner time was my most stressful time of day, I had animals to feed, children to cook for, feed, bath, homework, all these things have to be done. So, what I did was take the load off and pre-prepare what I could beforehand. I would have vegetables and potatoes chopped and ready in pans in the afternoon, food basically ready to go so all I have to do was just put the burner or ovens on. This made life so much easier.
Cook with a crock pot. All your meat and plenty of veg makes for easy healthy meals.
Teach the kids that in this house, who ever made the mess cleans up the mess. This can increase stress for a while especially if you are implementing a new rule in the house, though in the long run it would work.
Being able to only get a new toy out when the old one was put away, this further cements the ‘who makes the mess, cleans the mess rule’
Know that YOU are the Adult and the Child is the Child. There are certain topics that are not up for discussion and you can say ‘This is not a discussion, this is the way it is.’ Kids like firm boundaries, so stand by them.
Give the children chores, even from an early age. You are not the slave. The family is a team and they all work together. Sure the 5-year-old might get water everywhere the first time they do the dishes and that’s fine. Teach them how to manage a house, no matter what age or gender.
Never take the children’s power away. If they are doing something that you do not like (making noise), they have options. Either they do it elsewhere or if they want to stay around your space, then they have to respect your space and not make that noise there.
Have a wind down time before bed, usually 30 minutes before to chill, read, maybe turn the TV off and spend 30 minutes quality time. Reading is so powerful.
Walk away. When you feel over whelmed and you want to yell and scream, just walk away. This was the best advice my mother gave me as she lived on the other side of the world and I had little or no help or support. When you get angry then the children will just start to bounce off how you feel. They will feel insecure and will be needy and difficult. Know the children are safe and then just sit in the garden.
Know that it is OK for babies to have a cry, you do not need to be there 100%. It helps their lung capacity, body physiology and lets them start to work things out. You know a serious distressed cry, so a little cry every now and then is fine.
Know that children can easily get over tired. 9pm bed times are far too late and children get overtired and then cannot sleep. Young children and teenagers need sleep. 7 to 7.30pm bed times are good.
Teach your children to respect your space and know that we all need our own time and that is ok. If you do not respect you then your children will not respect you.
Trust your gut feeling with your children. Each child is different and has different needs. Just because a child if ‘good’ and quiet it still has its own needs.
Have family meeting and give all the children a chance to be heard. Validation is extremely important, even if the 3-year-old calls a meeting, then respect that.
Know the naughty corner really works, as long as you cut off all engagement in the allocated time frame.
Spend time outside. Children will sleep better, act up less and be happier if they have daily exercise outside.
Meditate or have relaxation time with the kids and show them this behaviour. They will learn to honour relax or meditate time.
Most of all, be present for your children. Talking on the phone while sorting things out for them is unacceptable. Children need small continual periods of you being present. Being at their level, making eye contact and acknowledging them.