5 Gentle Ways to Get a Teenager Doing Homework

There’s no doubt about it, schooling gets intense when you’re a teenager. Throw this on top of puberty, emotions, social challenges, friendships, sporting commitments, part-time work and it can become overwhelming. To a parent, getting a teenager doing homework can often feel as elusive as a unicorn.

But, you’re not alone if you feel your teenager is lying about homework or avoiding it. The key to dealing with this homework avoidance isn’t discipline or reproach; it’s about connecting with your teenager on a caring and understanding level.

Float back to your high school years and the feelings you experienced, even if that means having to pull out some old school music to get you there. Remember those days? Well, put yourself right there when you’re dealing with your teen and then follow these steps to encourage connection and support.

Homework Tips for Highschool Students and Parents

Encourage Open Dialogue

Building trust with your teen is an essential part of the homework process, mainly because, according to ReachOut.com, homework is one of the leading causes of stress in teens.  Reach Out mentions a research study performed by Mission Australia in 2015. The study found that around 40 per cent of 15-19-year-olds were very concerned about their ability to cope with stress, even more reason to encourage open discussions with your teenager. The truth is, if there is no open discussion between you and your teen, you can’t expect them to come to you for a chat when they are experiencing stress and other challenges.

Be the one to start the conversation and ask them why they don’t want to do their homework? This conversation could lead to many different things which may need addressing prior to homework.  Most importantly, when you’re having these conversations, listen and always have an open mind. We were all teenagers once.

Boost Confidence

In addition to all of the challenges mentioned above that teenagers experience, they also experience loads of self-doubt when it comes to their academic abilities. Teens worry about failure, they worry about what their teacher will say, they worry about what their peers will say if they get a poor mark.  This fear of failure can often show up as panic or anxiety, feeling detached, sweating and shaking, just to name a few.

As a parent, you can firstly try talking with your teen about the particular subject or subjects that they are concerned about. You might be able to restructure their homework schedule to accommodate these feelings, perhaps scheduling the specific subject of concern at a time of day when they are not too tired. Depending on the extent your child is impacted, you may even consider extra support in the form of study groups or private tutoring but remember, talk about it with your teen first. No surprises.

Parent-Teen Bonding

Talking with your teen is effective to a point. You need to consider what you talk about to build their confidence and an emotional connection. Use your talks to convey how much you love and support them, make them feel good, explain how much you value honesty and most of all, always be positive. Teenagers are complicated creatures but it’s important to remember that we, the parents, are their comfort zone. A lot of the time it may not seem that way but it’s why they let down their guard with us and we need always to keep the supportive bubble open.

Boost Energy

Just watching a teenager for a moment can make anyone feel tired, they need a good nudge to get going. Often, lack of sleep can be the problem with most teenagers only getting around 6.5 to 7.5 hours of sleep a night when they need between eight to ten hours.  Lack of sleep can have a significant impact on a teenager’s academic performance. Parents can support teenagers by enforcing strict bedtimes on school nights and removing access to electronic screen-based devices when it’s bedtime.

Why do teenagers need so much sleep?

Michael Crocetti, M.D., M.P.H., a paediatrician at Hopkins Medicine, explains that “Teenagers are going through a second developmental stage of cognitive maturation. Additional sleep supports their developing brain, as well as physical growth spurts. It also helps protect them from serious consequences like depression or drug use.”

Reality Check

Teenagers can slip into lazy mode quite easily as you’ve probably noticed. They can quickly forget about their lives in front of them and how their choices can affect their future. It’s one of our roles as parents to help our teenagers see the much bigger picture. As parents, we can:

• Discuss career options and what our teenager needs to do to achieve this career.
• Look at which university, college or TAFE they might need to attend to get the right qualifications for this career.
• Discuss which subjects and grades they will need to achieve to be admitted into these educational facilities.

When a teenager is more aware of what is required, they will soon realise that they won’t be able to achieve this by lazing around, that they need to work hard to reach their goal. Yes, they’ll lose sight of this goal multiple times but that’s where a quick reality check can get them back on the path.

These strategies to help with homework completion will work for some teenagers and not for others; they’re a guide.  There’s no other person that knows your teenager better than you. If getting your teenager doing homework means a compromise or two in addition to a couple of these tips, do what works for you and your family.

Good Luck!